Man on a Mission

One of the biggest values my parents instilled in us was that we should always strive for excellence. I remember my parents disappointed at me for bringing home grades that were less than 100. As a matter of fact, the morning before taking my SAT’s I distinctly remember my father telling me to score at least 1800. At the time, the highest possible score was 1600.

One of the big lectures at home was that we should never settle. Never settle for mediocrity, never settle for just any woman, and they never settled for bad behavior. I was taught to believe that being the best was doing my best.

Some years have passed since that day of the SAT’s and now I have realized that my parents hunger for perfection has been passed on to me. However, it isn’t really perfectionism. I am very hard on myself because I always think that I can do better. I believe that in almost every situation there is room for improvement.

One of the coolest things about computers is the fact that you can make it better and faster, normally referred to as upgrading. There is always something new out to make hat you have better. However, upgrading is usually a ‘pain in the wallet’. I digress, but we should take this same principle of upgrading for computers and apply it to enhancing ourselves. (No, I’m not talking about Penis Enhancement)

All of my friends know me as the guy who always has a new “project” or crazy idea. Well guys, here is another one of my crazy ideas. It’s my new project and the goal is to become a better man; I want to be a better person.

One of the most difficult things in the world to do is to objectively look in the mirror and give yourself blunt criticism. And I'm talking about the mirror that shows you what really matters. If you look in the mirror and see ugly, there is so much you can do to make yourself look better. Some solutions to it is to start exercising, learn better grooming habits, try out a new hairstyle, and even change your wardrobe. However, if you don’t solve the inner problems you will always see ugly.

Lately I have been putting myself under serious scrutiny. I have realized that I’m not such a great person. The thing is that I know that no one is perfect, but it never hurts to try to be better than you are.

There are so many aspects of my relationships that I noticed need some brushing up. I want to be a better friend. One who is more patient, caring, and available. I want to be a better brother and son. One who is there for his family, someone you can depend on, and someone willing to drop everything for his family.

There are some aspects of my character that need some enhancement. I really love people and socializing with them. I want to be friendlier. I want to be a better leader. I love the vastness and flexibility of art. I want to be more creative; I want to be an artist.

I want to be a REAL man!

Whatever it takes!

Whatever that means!

Now it’s your turn to look in the mirror. What need to be enhanced in your life; what needs to undergo a transformation?

I'm no man's "Vicar"!

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be; feeling so faithless, lost under the surface! Don't know what your expecting of me, put under the pressure of walking in your shoes!" Those are the opening lyrics to Linkin Park's song "Numb". Lately, I have really connected with them. It's as if they made this song for me.

Sometimes your in a situation in which your feelings just aren't so easy to express. You know exactly what's going on; because your the one that these things are happening to, yet you just can't find the right words to articulate it. You feel all alone and you don't think anyone could understand you even if you did try talking about it.

Then one day your mind ponders the thoughts that would be furthest away from your troubles. You might be driving your car, with your windows down and sunroof open. Your just sitting back and enjoying the cool breeze. Then a song on the radio plays. You've heard a million times before, but this time the words seem to be more vivid. It reminds you of your troubles, but not in a bad way. And you realize, these are the words you have been looking for. You get this feeling of serenity deep down inside; this is what you have been feeling. Each word makes you flashback to specific moments that you tried to explain what was really going on. It 's as if the artist is trying to say 'I understand you, your not alone.' These words are your words; this song is your song. It was made just for you.

I'm done living in the past, I have a bright future ahead of me. I know my friends and family mean well, but I can't live for them. I won't be able to live vicariously through them either. From now on I live and act based on my own expectations; but I welcome them to give any aid, support, encouragement, and/or advice. If I want a bright future, I'm going to need as much help as I can get.

When I was first presented with the idea of "blogging", I brushed it off. It was something I thought only tech geeks did. Second, I dismissed the idea because I consider myself to be a personal individual. I'm not one to tell people my troubles and worries. However, now I see it differently.

Blogs are both personally beneficial and productive. One thing that I have really been trying to do is enhance my writing skills and creativity. I'm not all together sure what kind of job I'll have after I graduate, but what I do know is that I want to be a captivating writer and a great communicator. What better way to do that than to consistently write.

I'll be using this blog as a chronicle of my interesting daily occurrences, an outlet, to express my ideas, to express my feelings, and to share any tidbit of knowledge I have in my dome for a head.

Hopefully, you will be able to find some of my words to be your words.

What it means to be flawless?

I was in tenth grade and I just did something that I thought I could never do. I finally benched 165lbs. I just completed 8 reps. Although I was only bench pressing, I felt power surging through my whole entire body. All my muscles were pumped. I never saw my muscles so full. I felt strong. I felt so powerful. I felt invincible. I was flawless

There are moments in your life where you feel so powerful. You feel so strong. Your excited, and in a state of bliss. In these moments you have no worries, no fears, no inhibitions. No one else matters, nothing can stop you, and there are no such things as obstacles. Time even slows just so you can bask in the glory of these moments. Your unstoppable, perfect. You are flawless.

I love those moments. I like the feeling. As a matter of fact, I use those moments to draw my confidence and competence from. I live for those moments. In those moments I feel more alive than ever.